I really have to acknowledge the fact that there are people who are of different frequencies as you. They always miss the point of what you want to say, and you can't tell them straight cause they are offended - yet they offend people all the time. Thinking themselves as higher beings to others, obnoxious and arrogant in their refute and harsh in their critics. They pull people to side them, and condescend the rest. It is painful to know that you are hurt, yet still have to care for their feelings. Why are some people so full of themselves? Maybe i should just shut up and not be engaged in whatever argument they are in. I should not care to express my view to balance out their impartial stand full of bullet-holes and sweeping assumptions. Even when it was the best time, the softest phrases, they don't feel it. All they feel is their own presence. Some people are just not worth it. It's too tiring to care.

I just wish i could be selfish sometimes. It's tiring to consider every party. I wished i could consider myself. Not let myself be burned out while satisfying others. I feel happy when i help others, no matter if they returned favours or not. A smile, a nod of head in acknowledgement or even a turn of their heads - their small efforts melt my heart. Yet, it is such tiring times that you start to feel so alone. Having friends doesn't make you less lonelier if you don't see them in your heart. I hate to admit it but i don't feel them in my heart. They are, somewhere, i know. But at times like these i don't see them. It might be because i choose to block them out, but others i know i didn't want to bother them. Constantly, i face conflicting wishes yet choose to not be selfish. Lonelier and lonelier. wearier and wearier. Sometimes, the souls' sucked out of me yet everybody's wanting for more.

I know this is ridiculous, but hey we all gotta accept our emotions first before we can deal with them right? I just hope i'll get better so i won't have to say no.

I really have to acknowledge the fact that there are people who are of different frequencies as you. They always miss the point of what you want to say, and you can't tell them straight cause they are offended - yet they offend people all the time. Thinking themselves as higher beings to others, obnoxious and arrogant in their refute and harsh in their critics. They pull people to side them, and condescend the rest. It is painful to know that you are hurt, yet still have to care for their feelings. Why are some people so full of themselves? Maybe i should just shut up and not be engaged in whatever argument they are in. I should not care to express my view to balance out their impartial stand full of bullet-holes and sweeping assumptions. Even when it was the best time, the softest phrases, they don't feel it. All they feel is their own presence. Some people are just not worth it. It's too tiring to care.

I just wish i could be selfish sometimes. It's tiring to consider every party. I wished i could consider myself. Not let myself be burned out while satisfying others. I feel happy when i help others, no matter if they returned favours or not. A smile, a nod of head in acknowledgement or even a turn of their heads - their small efforts melt my heart. Yet, it is such tiring times that you start to feel so alone. Having friends doesn't make you less lonelier if you don't see them in your heart. I hate to admit it but i don't feel them in my heart. They are, somewhere, i know. But at times like these i don't see them. It might be because i choose to block them out, but others i know i didn't want to bother them. Constantly, i face conflicting wishes yet choose to not be selfish. Lonelier and lonelier. wearier and wearier. Sometimes, the souls' sucked out of me yet everybody's wanting for more.

I know this is ridiculous, but hey we all gotta accept our emotions first before we can deal with them right? I just hope i'll get better so i won't have to say no.