For some reason, i was stunned during violin lessons. I couldn't pull myself together to play well. I know that i've practiced for ages, but i didn't have a single crumb of confidence in myself. True enough, it went pretty bad and i felt i couldn't go on. I left the session feeling pretty dejected and upset at myself. I felt like the 'third person' again. As if i were watching myself from afar, walking slowly down the brick-red path. I felt as if i really couldn't keep up. I wonder why i just couldn't play as well as i did at home in my own locked room. I flopped down on a chair, feeling myself giving in, caving in.

I reached home and started work. For some reason, i ended up listening to music. Soothing and emotional ones. And i felt the strength coming back to me. As if defeat or failure was just the start of everything. The start of everything great. As if when i fall, i fall to pick myself up to see the blue and brighter skies above me unlike how i wallowed in self-pity in the shade of my own shadows. What brought me back standing and smiling are songs that sing right to my heart. Music are notes, chords, emotions, everything. It was as if i could find everything i needed there no matter how i failed myself or how life outside beats me up into a pulp. It was something i could always rely and turn to. It was the source of my strength. It is my source of strength even more so now.

I bow my head low as i revisited and heard the songs that i'd listened to so long ago and loved so much. As if all this while, i'd missed it. Forgotten it. But it'd never forgotten about me and i know it never will. My beaten spirits start to lift. I feel like i could accomplish once again what i'd set out to do. I couldn't help myself but hum along with the songs. Humming along made me feel like an instrument, creating sounds, notes, music with air movement in my body. Just like how many instruments work. Vibrations. I felt it. The lovely tingling of a common pitch, common note, common tone, common harmony. I understood myself better for it understood me.

"It is not the laudable songs but the soulful music that strikes a chord in the heart of all living."

For some reason, i was stunned during violin lessons. I couldn't pull myself together to play well. I know that i've practiced for ages, but i didn't have a single crumb of confidence in myself. True enough, it went pretty bad and i felt i couldn't go on. I left the session feeling pretty dejected and upset at myself. I felt like the 'third person' again. As if i were watching myself from afar, walking slowly down the brick-red path. I felt as if i really couldn't keep up. I wonder why i just couldn't play as well as i did at home in my own locked room. I flopped down on a chair, feeling myself giving in, caving in.

I reached home and started work. For some reason, i ended up listening to music. Soothing and emotional ones. And i felt the strength coming back to me. As if defeat or failure was just the start of everything. The start of everything great. As if when i fall, i fall to pick myself up to see the blue and brighter skies above me unlike how i wallowed in self-pity in the shade of my own shadows. What brought me back standing and smiling are songs that sing right to my heart. Music are notes, chords, emotions, everything. It was as if i could find everything i needed there no matter how i failed myself or how life outside beats me up into a pulp. It was something i could always rely and turn to. It was the source of my strength. It is my source of strength even more so now.

I bow my head low as i revisited and heard the songs that i'd listened to so long ago and loved so much. As if all this while, i'd missed it. Forgotten it. But it'd never forgotten about me and i know it never will. My beaten spirits start to lift. I feel like i could accomplish once again what i'd set out to do. I couldn't help myself but hum along with the songs. Humming along made me feel like an instrument, creating sounds, notes, music with air movement in my body. Just like how many instruments work. Vibrations. I felt it. The lovely tingling of a common pitch, common note, common tone, common harmony. I understood myself better for it understood me.

"It is not the laudable songs but the soulful music that strikes a chord in the heart of all living."