Being the last child, my parents seem to pin my two sibling's unfinished hopes on me. Or should i say, some kind of expectation too, to end things properly, or maintain things. I have to be someone who does things well, maybe that's all they take me for. Maybe not, but really, many times, i feel that way. Maybe now, i can't feel properly what they take me for, but now i feel this way.

My mom asked me whether all i could do was study, and also what's the use when i'm -something-. I know she didn't really mean it that way, but i was hurt, i admit it, i am sensitive afterall. I thought about it for a long time. Maybe i'm a really bad person. Everytime a bad character appears on tv, my brother always say it's me. Maybe all they can see about me is bad and nothing else that's good cause there really isn't anything good about me. Sometimes i really wonder if i'm a bad person. Do people dislike me? Of course people yearn to be liked, or to be of neutral, cause it doesn't feel good when someone doesn't like you, cause it somehow indicates that you have something bad about you that people don't like.

Sometimes bad people don't like good people, but sometimes, you never really know, it's hard to see, cause we don't know their true character. People are confusing, and hard to figure out. So sometimes figuring yourself out is easier. Haha, it's a long two-post thought, sorry. Haha. My thoughts are rather tangled up and they jump around, even i find it hard to understand sometimes. Bye guys!

P.S. 28th Nov - Happy 14th birthday Vinita :D (sorry, i drafted the happy birthday post.)
P.P.S. 7th Dec - Happy 16th birthday Sister :D (haha, can watch NC16 movie liao hor?)

Being the last child, my parents seem to pin my two sibling's unfinished hopes on me. Or should i say, some kind of expectation too, to end things properly, or maintain things. I have to be someone who does things well, maybe that's all they take me for. Maybe not, but really, many times, i feel that way. Maybe now, i can't feel properly what they take me for, but now i feel this way.

My mom asked me whether all i could do was study, and also what's the use when i'm -something-. I know she didn't really mean it that way, but i was hurt, i admit it, i am sensitive afterall. I thought about it for a long time. Maybe i'm a really bad person. Everytime a bad character appears on tv, my brother always say it's me. Maybe all they can see about me is bad and nothing else that's good cause there really isn't anything good about me. Sometimes i really wonder if i'm a bad person. Do people dislike me? Of course people yearn to be liked, or to be of neutral, cause it doesn't feel good when someone doesn't like you, cause it somehow indicates that you have something bad about you that people don't like.

Sometimes bad people don't like good people, but sometimes, you never really know, it's hard to see, cause we don't know their true character. People are confusing, and hard to figure out. So sometimes figuring yourself out is easier. Haha, it's a long two-post thought, sorry. Haha. My thoughts are rather tangled up and they jump around, even i find it hard to understand sometimes. Bye guys!

P.S. 28th Nov - Happy 14th birthday Vinita :D (sorry, i drafted the happy birthday post.)
P.P.S. 7th Dec - Happy 16th birthday Sister :D (haha, can watch NC16 movie liao hor?)